what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You have to summon your inner elephant
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
