I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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