tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
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My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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