I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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