just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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