i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
