So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
