Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
