Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
