you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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