For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
