I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize