Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
