I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
