It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Found your dick twin last night
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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