If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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