It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
where am i from again
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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