I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
