So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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