that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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