quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
