Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
