I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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