i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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