Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
