i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
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I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
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You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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