omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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