you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
