it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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