Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
