Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
where am i from again
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I deserve this hangover.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
