So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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