Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
