He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
