Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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