no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I look better un-naked...
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny