she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other