Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.