I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
