i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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