If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
