Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
