this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
