Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
