love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
