I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
