day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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