I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
the day after is always just damage control
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well I just put wine in my tea
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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