I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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