Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
