We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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