What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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