Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I believe in your delicious
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
