Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My penis needs a shock collar
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
