my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
