Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
