Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
