oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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