So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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