a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
