You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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