woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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