You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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