He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
