with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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