You just made me feel so damn special
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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