i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
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We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
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no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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