Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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