We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
