Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
