And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
